First and foremost I want to give a shout-out to my amazing and brilliant son and his equally brilliant and adorable wife on the occasion of their 4th wedding anniversary. They have supported and uplifted each other through what I’m sure they would classify as the most stressful year yet. So here’s to year #5. May the strength and endurance and the deepened love and commitment you “grew” during year 4 make this upcoming one full of wonderful gifts. You are both a gift in my life.
Subject Number Two
I WANT MY ROUTINE BACK!
I need it. I am slowly but oh, so surely coming unglued. I can’t find things, I’m forgetting to pay bills, I lose my phone constantly (subconsciously I don’t want it. No consciously….I sorta don’t). My refrigerator is a mess. Laundry is clean and folded but not put away. Mostly because I need to put the summer clothes in storage, drag out winter stuff, if I can ever get to it.
I can remember when I hated routine. I lived heart and soul for the unstructured spontaneity of summer. People who did the same thing at the same time day after day after day were fuddy-duddies.
Oh how I want to be a fuddy-duddy.
Because you know what? Having a routine lets me accomplish what I need to and still have time in the course of the day to fill the well. That’s where the unraveling begins.
I can’t seem to convey this concept to my dear hubby. I don’t think it is because he refuses to understand; I think it is because he can’t. He handles his day as it comes at him. That is all well and good until his day coming at him starts crashing into mine. An example this evening: he has a receiver in his garage that he cannot operate fully. He bought it at a thrift store. Tonight he wanted to adjust the bass. I don’t know how long he fussed with it before he asked me to find a manual and then research how to tune the bass.
Mind you, I was almost finished cleaning the kitchen when I stopped because he thought this quest for perfect bass in the garage audio would only take a couple minutes.
It never takes a couple minutes.
But I found out the answer: you can’t adjust the bass without the remote. Which we do not have.
So now I have choices. Clean the kitchen or blog, read and sleep. I suppose I can do both, but my problem–which lies with me and no one else–is that I seem to be always opting to clean the kitchen and never opting to do what brings me joy and peace.
We all need to be building joy and peace into our lives. No one is going to do it for us.